Oh my god. I sat through an earthquake last night! It was pretty scary, especially since my bed started shaking and then my walls and I thought the house was gonna split in two! There was a strange feeling of being pulled sideways too, which I didn't like.

...and then it stopped. &I wondered, what the hell was that?! But I was not alone. People up and down England felt it. On the richter scale it was 5.3, which for England is pretty heavy. The worst in 25 years. It was well weird.

But it's nothing to complain about. There was some minor damage around the country, but thankfully I was ok and won't have to be repairing the house any time soon :) We get it very good compared to other countries. Thank goodness we don't get them on a larger scale.

Anyway, enough of that.

I have the day off (pretty much) but I'm unlikely to get much done as I have to attempt to write a cover letter (which will no doubt take ages), so I'm unsure whether to do that now or do some reading first. I also have to go and see a film at the union called 'All the Presidents Men', around 3pm, so I want to be ready for that.

I got my proposal back though and I'm chuffed to bits as I got a 1st! woohoo! :) yayayayaya. Which is very encouraging indeed and making me want to pursue the dissertation now. I didn't think I was going to get that grade because I've had the same mark all year so far, which has been a bit depressing. So it's nice to know my work is great in places :) hehe.

I have wrote a new poem too. Oh and a haiku :P

Notice

Failure
will result
in your
termination

Success
will prevent
you from
reaching your
destination

Tell me
is it possible
to win on
the grounds of
a judge and jury?

Document your faith
Terrorise and glory
Ultimately the truth
can not be revealed
so you censor out the story

What kind of li(f)e is this?

25.2.08

Yes, I know it's late. But I thought I'd post this anyway, since I have a new piece of work.

Remains

Hissing
The engine crawls
We fall down on our knees
to kiss the asphalt
that crumbles between
our palms, like soldiers
barracading the road through
the old town and the new city

Ahead
Lies danger
Below
Hell
Burning away at 200mph
Tarmac blisters in the stench of a pothole sun

….and looking out from the inside,
Johnny cocks his gun
Its metal glitters like the last trickles of water,
so this is what sweat tastes like,
from prisoners on the run

he thinks;
forlorn
uncertain of the barrens
the cruel jibes
that plant themselves
in his memories
are growing thorns

twilights twist
a rosy vein
that blossomed
her first daughter
and he, the devil man
that spawned her

Out on the roads
Wielding weapons
of gross proportions
they fire out
all angles spinning
wheels a-grip with rage
the old man
sits slurping, grinning

Watching with a kind of naivety
at the bikers
wasting away
at speeds that kill
they take their fill
of drugs drink and women

He has seen many an outlaw
driven crazy by the sun
burned by the flames of fear
that flicker on the horizon

War damaged criminals
crippled by the surge of youth
no longer play the game
he sighs with relief;
no longer a hostage to the truth

Fast-forward to San-Fransisco
Bodies shunned in cactus strewn city
Johnny lights up
Leather jacket stitched on by name
fever-worn brows raised to the sky
Touching, slowly stroking the last
of the lead

Standstill
Trunk raised high

He hums a tune
to keep himself steady
One…two….
gun cocked at the ready…

‘Yes sir
this one’s a ho-or
better show her a good time’
Tears don’t fall
they flood her

Taped tresses strangle her beauty
like weeds trapping out flowers
Breath still, in danger
Breasts aware, rope twists blue
she grips her thighs a little tighter
to prevent his hand squeezing through

‘Come on little lady,
don’t be a stranger’,
he drawls
a cocktail of
hash and gin,
like a medley of grimey tunes

Hard
she bites
he moans
she screams
harder

The kick of the wrist
the lash of the tongue
climbs yet crawls
and withers inside her

But with a bang bang
the trunk is covered
rose-red
her petals scattered

Outside he stands,
leaving her for dead
the body he does sling

Taking only her silver locket
that’s the only thing she’d bring

He trembles
but can’t show fear
He lifts a cloth to wipe
the ruby stains
Stumbles, staggers
and slams the door shut.

…yet still the thorn remains

That night
in the old town
a greying shadow of a man
dreams about his family

It’d been so long
since his wife departed;
strangled at the hands of an angel
He became an outlaw
seeking revenge

He wanted to kill him
Wring his neck and slaughter
when that guy had swore upon his life, to
‘get you and your precious tramp of a daughter’

She was five
He had kissed her lips
The father bust his nose
Stroked her cheek
and touched her leg;
He’d made him comatose

but now at sixteen
she was in grave danger
a beauty all of her own
The father was scared
for her return

and checking the clock
feared but the worst
as he listened to the sound
of the speeding car, ahead
wheels ready to burst

‘She’ll be home soon’,
he says, touching the silver locket
over and over again

Its shape a rose
with a picture inside;
He gave it as a gift
when she was born

as a memory

…to the part of him that died.


ACJ 25/2/08

I've been feeling pretty drab today. Not sure why. I guess it's the realisation and the monotony of having to buy newspapers everyday, that my dissertation is now under way and I've got to roll with it...there is no way out.

and I'll be honest.


I'm scared.

Really, utterly terrified that everything I've done so far and everything I'm going to do will be a pile of wank because I don't have the time to satisfy myself that what I'm doing is actually any good.

For starters, this term will be heavier (I suspect less stressful, just more boring than the last) because it's more academic.

I have a presentation to do in May
An essay due in after Easter
A tonne of reading for my dissertation
Have to write a 8,000 - 10,000 word dissertation itself
A 3 hour exam at the end of the term and...
I have to produce a 72 page magazine in a group of 5 people

and on top of that I have to produce a brief, write at least 3 individual features of varying lengths, sub-edit a piece of someone else's work and I'm sure we have to write something else, but I can't remember what. I know we have work to produce as a group though, as well as individually. So understandably, I am a little bit worn out by the prospect of all of that.

So it's pretty much going to be non-stop now until mid-June when I finish the course.

Don't even remind me about getting a job (people seem to keep going on about it to me) and the department is wittering on and sending e-mails to remind us of prospective jobs, you know, just to hammer it home a little.

One girl on my course already has a job and has started, doing one day a week at The Reading Chronicle for £12.50 an hour. That scares me somewhat. I haven't even started looking properly.

But maybe I should.

I'm signing up for stuff now just to ease my mind and hopefully get the ball rolling. Wish me luck.

I have a new piece of work.

Wave Goodbye to the Butterfly

Feelings fall
as the autumn leaves
curl to skies of grey
and dancing, dancing
are washed away

Into puddles
that whisper of many moons
we fall asleep
on clouds of residue
as the caterpillar
hidden, so small
begins to creep…

Paraded so low
a kerb so high
that guttural stench
bleeding us so dry
never fails to intervene
when it comes to love
a quintessential mask
of our emotions

Upon the soul
as in our roots
pulled out
from the dark
we grew

and into the light
that glimmers
by fresh-speckled dew
we yearn for change
to take us along;
out with the old,
in with the new

Wasn’t that your saying?

Except I no longer feel
for that phrase
just as you no longer
understand
that I stand tall
and unafraid

Not to be
not yours
Unlucky
You lose

Through flickering lights
decanter the sensation
they can’t prevent
us from reaching
our destination

That storm
That swallow
to flee

to follow.



- 19.2.08
ACJ

I had a really weird dream on Sunday night. Or should that be nightmare. It was really strange. First of all, I was enjoying my stay in a medieval style cottage. Until some Helena Bonham Carter look-alike came bursting through to ask me what I was doing invading her living space. Turns out that Johnny Depp is a serial killer who's made her a part of his exclusive 'club' and kidnaps babies only to lock them in his shed. Then tries to chase me out of his garden with a pickaxe or some other similar device. Right.

...it quite amazes me the extent of the depravity and vivacity of my dreams sometimes. But by this point, you're just thinking I'm a nutter. So I digress. I'll talk about what's real instead. By the way, that dream really happened.

Since my final autumn semester exam on Feb 4th, I've been home for a couple of days (from Tuesday until today) to be with Gary and my family once more. I had a really nice time, just chilling and not doing any work or revision (for a change) which I made the most of. My time with Gary was spent watching films (Beavis and Butthead do America, Halloween 4 and Who Framed Roger Rabbit, respectively). Whilst we also played games (Guitar Hero, NHL Ice Hockey) and I handed over 'Assassin's Creed' which I bought for him last week when it was offer for £23 at Zavvi. We went out a few times too - ended up getting some squeezy cheesy sauce which we're both kinda addicted to. Which was very yummy although it put me off a bit when I first saw it coming out of the bottle, it did taste pretty nice on chips. At the weekend, we had a wander around town and sorted out some stuff that went wrong with Gary's bank details after a mishap earlier in the week. But it's all good now :)

I went to Chester on Thursday. I love going there with my parents, I think it stems back from when I was little and we'd always go there every weekend. My great grandmother used to live in a house near to the city centre and I guess that's one of the reasons we used to go before she passed away. Plus it has really lovely buildings, lovely scenery and it's got a real sense of history about it. Although it may be too quiet for some people's taste, I've found the city centre itself to be pretty busy at times. When I was little I used to run up and down the pier near to the rapids and throw bread at the ducks in the water to try to get them to come up real close to me. I had great fun doing that and going on the 'Diana' boat ride one time. Classy. Ahh memories. Anyway last Thursday I just ended up buying a couple of dvds. 'Memoirs of a Geisha', 'The Prestige' and 'Thank You for Smoking' being some of the titles I chose to whet my appetite. I'm hoping to watch them with Gary, but we have a tonne of movies to get through as it is :]

In scarier news...some of my coursemates ALREADY have jobs! *is shocked and slightly dumbfounded*. This kind of makes me scared. It's starting to wake me up and realise I really need to start taking this seriously and to get my CV out there and applying for different sorts of jobs. It sort of worries me though that so many people are so keen to do well. I mean obviously people do, but I never expected so many people I knew to get them so quick. Kind of daunting. I'm still not sure if I even want to be a journalist anymore. Obviously they do....one's got a job at the Reading Chronicle and another of my mate's has a job interview lined up for a top selling magazine! (by that I mean, the magazine she pointed to is readily available on the news stands). I couldn't help but feel a little 'oh' coming on when I found all of this out. Then again do I do what is expected of me, or take it at my own pace? Either way, refining my CV and having a look for some prospective jobs in the north west area can't hurt. I'll get cracking on that soon.

I've just realised how late it is now. Brrr. I start the final semester of University tomorrow! My number of hours now is significantly less than last term, seven hours compared to around - 9 or 10, last semester. Which is a lot nicer all in all. Then again, I'm supposed to be using that time effectively to do reading/study for my dissertation.

I have to be up early tomorrow anyway, I've got to pick up a parcel that got took back to the post office because it went unrecorded and unsigned. I need to get it as it's my Gary's valentine's present.

Stupid post people. grrr.

Over and out.

One week later and I am still at it. Revising that is. I think I know enough, but nowhere near to say I'm a pro. I only feel like I know the basics, not all the in's and outs like I should do. I'm just gonna have to keep on going over and over it until I understand completely.

The weather hasn't been helping. It snowed yesterday!!




I should've gone out in it ( I did to do a spot of shopping, nothing else and nearly ended up falling over because it was so icy, hehe) but I didn't get to go out and play in it like I wanted to. Boo. Exams suck.

I just take comfort in the fact that after tomorrow that's my last exam until late May/June! (for some it's their last ever- lucky buggers- they took political communication last year and had to do a three hour exam, where as I'm doing it this time around, having done web last year).

Anyway after tomorrow at 4.30pm I will be freee! and then all I have to do is hand in my JNL301 work on Tuesday. I'm then going back home for a few days before the new term starts as I'll have nothing else to do here, so figure I might as well go home and see Gary and all my family again. God knows I miss them all so much :(

Right, I best get back to revision. I'll update again soon.
Wish me luck for tomorrow if you love me :]
Take cares reader.

xx

Whilst I should be revising right now, I am hung over and procrastinating to within an inch of my life. Basically, anything you can possibly imagine as distracting, IS.

I went to Pop Tarts last night, which is the unions' 60's/70's/80's/90's pop night and I had a really good time. But perhaps had one too many for my current liking. We went to celebrate my housemate Laura's 22nd birthday. Good times.

We had Singstar on the TV and other such delights before we went out too which was fun- the idea being to outsing your opponent.

Right, today's plan is to get some food going and then get down to a session of revision. I've got quite a big chapter to read, so I best go and read it before it starts to get too dark.

I'll update when I'm less busy.

Byee for now.

Ok, so it's been over a month since I last updated.
A lot of things have happened,as you can probably imagine.

First off, I am now 21. I had an amazing birthday:) I went to a comedy club in Liverpool in the evening with Gary and we watched some pretty funny comedians take to the stage and do their acts. Some were funnier than others, but all were better than I had expected. However we made the mistake of sitting in the front row (not through choice, the seats were booked so we couldn't change them), but it was good never the less. We did get picked on a bit (me especially) but it's ok because it was all in the name of fun :)

I had my birthday meal on the 11th of January (the day after) and that was great. It was a family occasion, so just me, Gary, my parents and my brother Chris and his fiancé Louise. Which was super as I don't think we do these kind of things enough (although we did all go out for my dad's birthday back in November). Yeps. So we went for a Chinese meal to celebrate my 21st and it was very yummy. Then we went back to Chris's place and cut my cake (I'll post pics soon). I also got given my pressies (lots of money, a bottle of pink champagne and a big box of Thorntons chocolates, mmm). Yummy. So I had an amazing time. It was really nice to just get dressed up and go out and to see everybody again. I loved it.

I got a classic ipod in silver from Gary :) which is great. As I have lots of money so it's a good way to put it all onto one and take it with me wherever I go (especially during the next week or so of sturdy revision where I will be playing it to my heart's content, hehe). I got clothes, bath stuff and money in general from my parents too. Plus my housemates got me stuff when I came back to Sheffield. I got a pink candle set, a celtic silver necklace, (a silver oriental style bracelet from my Mum), bath stuff and a student vegetarian cookbook! :) Oh I also got my late Christmas pressie off my new housemate Abby. She bought me the most divine vanity case ever! It's white with black print patterns on it and contains loads of special spa stuff. The other one is a sort of hanger travel case for packing a lot of items together- but you can pack a lot of things in there too, which is pretty dandy.

Speaking of Christmas pressies I got a lot there too. A digital camera, hair straighteners, money, clothes, chocolates, books, DVD's...the list is endless!! Before Christmas though, Gary came up and we celebrated up here in Sheffield for a few days. We had a great weekend of frolics, the Harcourt Skirts Christmas dinner :) and then after present opening and celebrations, we went to see VNV Nation at Corporation which was amazing.

I'd like to say I really enjoyed it. But I didn't. I LOVED IT. It was one of those life affirming moments and I'm proud to say that being with Gary has reaffirmed everything in my life that is true. He is my soulmate. Holding his hand and listening to everything like we had done two years ago made me realise: some things never change, in a world that is constantly revolving. I don't know what else I can say that he won't already know, but sometimes we don't need words. The songs said so much as it was. That connection we felt all those years ago in high school, has been reignited many times over and over at Christmas time and into the New Year. I can now only hope that 2008 will be like it is now. Happy. Joyous. Looking forward into a world that is once again liveable because you feel the soul inside of you, moving upwards towards the never ending sky. & a line of heavenly surrender. As you realise, that light will never change.

Thanks for reading this.

I know it's a bit late, but Happy New Year. Happy 2008.









'Let there be, let there always be a neverending light...'

I am here.
I am there.
I'm sick of wearing underwear.

Haha, well not really ;)
Just a bit bored.


I went to see Sunno))) and Boris on Monday night in London. It was rather minted, I enjoyed the show very much and the thudding sensations throbbed right through my little body, leaving me highly entertained my sweets.


I think I'm rambling, so I'll post again when I'm feeling a bit more on weathered ground.

No more broadcast journalism...EVER!!! You do not know how good that sounds. No more calling up and asking permission to film here and there, no more embarrassments/inadequate feelings over not being able to edit the 'right' way or letting anybody down. For today I had my final assesment- the TV newsday.

It meant getting up at 6am, watching the news for breaking stories or anything happening in Sheffield and then going in for 8.30am so as to discuss relevant stories with the group. Then present them at the 9am 'news meeting' where Katie, Matt and Julia Lockwood (a reporter/journalist from Calendar,the local Yorkshire news), came to assess our newsday and to help us out along the way of course. The briefing was part of the assessment so we had to throw loads of news stories in there, which I think some of us did just to get a few extra marks :p can't say I blame people, hehe.

So me and Jack went to film some homeless people at the EIS. (English Institute of Sport), but it turned out there was no actual sports happening at these workshops. Only discussions and as beforehand we were waiting on permission from the EIS for us to film there/get an interview, we decided to write the cue/script for a story about a guy who was killed, driving the wrong way down the M1. Later we shot some clips of traffic too.

So we went to St Anne's Hostel in Woodhouse and filmed some homeless people playing football instead. That was cool, we had an interview clip of the homeless football team all together talking about why they enjoyed it (which Julia later commented on as being quite unusual but worked well for a news bulletin) and we were like go 'ed :p get those points in there for us babeh :D hehehe.

It was stressful though trying to get all the right shots. As camerawoman I felt a little bit daunted by how many shots I had to get. But we got some decent ones I think, from different angles, including down below shots of people scoring goals, missing them, etc. Higher ones, mid-pitch angles, etc. Which were interesting.

I did kind of wonder a few times through the day, why anybody would want to be a broadcast journalist...and I later learnt the Calendar news lady who came in to assess/help out on the day, regularly says she thinks she's going to have a heart attack every day on the job. I mean, is that worth it?! I don't think so. Although you do get paid more than in print, I'm not sure I could handle the stress levels and would yearn for a 9-5 job. Journalism is very much for those who are dedicated and like to work to deadlines I think.

We were back in the newsroom (after ages stuck in traffic jams) for around 2pm'ish. Then we got stuck into editing our piece. Jack did most of the editing whilst I wrote the cue and script (because I'm good at writing and didn't want to muck anything up technically). Also because I can't remember how to edit that well it would take me a lot longer. If only I'd of been allowed a practice edit the day before, that would've been great. Nevermind though, we got on with it.

The afternoon was very stressful from this point onwards and I literally was dreading the minutes because time was going too fast, in my opinion!!

After a lot of stress, asking for help from Matt and doing the voiceover, we finally got it all polished off (as polished as we could get anyway) and sent off to be put in the finished TV news bulletin which went out at 4.30pm.

I managed to sort out/help out by doing the pictures for the recording of the sports bulletin. We put all that together and I just clicked 'play' and it seemed to work. So I did that part at least.

We went 'on air' at 4.30pm exactly and by 4.45 we were watching it all through together and analysing our performance. I personally think we got a lot of news in and covered a lot of different stories which was good and we ended on a nice piece about Christmas lights at the children's hospital, or something like that. So that was nice.

I'm really pleased with the way our package turned out and some of the filming was particularly good. Although, the whole news bulletin was not polished at all. It was very good and it had a lot of positives but it fell back in many places, perhaps because we had set ourselves very high expectations and when they fell down...it let some of the pieces down (one group struggled with the editing because they'd been really busy all day doing various filming in various places). But nevermind it's a learning curve and I'd be surprised if we got any less than a 2.1 for our efforts.

It's weird to think broadcast is over now. I'm glad it is though, means I can focus on other things like my patch stories and I can start laying them out etc, writing up my Stiletto article and also, start revising for Free Speech and Censorship. Yep.

Today was worth 60% of the module, so I better do well is all I can say :D hehe.

Right, I'm gonna go to sleep. Another busy day tomorrow (can't wait for the weekend!) :D

xx

Had a whole weekend of work. Not only have I managed to write up four of my patch stories, I also have wrote up the notes into longhand for my feature piece on 'Killer Cola', which makes me feel somewhat better knowing I have at least some work to show Foster next week. Also, I've been buying The Star pretty much every day and finding out various bits of info about Walkley which I never even knew about.

Turns out there is a methodist church that is going to be demolished to make way for several houses (could be quite a big story if we get the locals reaction, me thinks) and a councillor who stands for Walkley who has turned 70 and along with three other councillors has served over 100 years worth of public service. So there's something worth writing about right there.

But yeah, this weekend has been really boring. Only solaced by the fact that it's December now, so it's advent and therefore it's time to start opening those calendar doors and eating miniature chocolate things! :D which is awesome.

Looks like I have my story ready to be filmed for my TV newsday on Wednesday. The English Institute of Sport is putting on a sporting event for homeless people in Sheffield on December 5th, so me and Jack are gonna go down there and film some homeless people playing judo! hahaha. Thankfully we can drive down there and get it sorted, we went there the other day and they seemed really helpful and seemed to want to give us permission. Which is all gravy. Tomorrow I'm expecting a call or to hear back at some point from the events organiser to see if we can definitely have permission, etc.

I hope all goes to plan :) Then all I have to start doing is revising my editing/OOVS/Upsounds/Packages and script editing for the big day itself.


Aaaaarrrggghh!

I'm soo sick of having to show people around the house. Now don't get me wrong I understand the reasoning behind having to do so, for example, these people need a place to stay next year after all. But the thing is, the sheer volume of people coming around! It's getting a tad annoying. I've missed a few showings due to being out and having locked my door, they've then wanted to come back around just to see my room as they needed to see ALL of the rooms. But the thing is, I never got to see all of the rooms when I went looking for a house. So what's the big deal, eh? I'm not sure. Maybe they just like to know the full score. I remember when we asked if we could go around and see the house in first year, the girls said no though- as they were determined to spend the last few weeks together in the house. Which I can completely understand now. Not that I want to sound mean or anything, but you do get quite attached.

Anyway. The good news is that I have finished much of Foster's workshop exercises, so all I pretty much need to do now is start writing up my patch stories which I want to do and get out of the way this weekend (including my feature story), so I know exactly what I have to work with. &then, I'm going to start getting even more (no doubt I will need them) and amongst other things, start writing them up and laying them out. It will be quite a big task actually, now I think about it. I think the main worry I have is not being able to get enough! as there will be loads of things needed to fill up all of those pages.

First things first though, I'm going to write a list of all the stories I do have and then start writing up the notes and working out their worth in terms of whether they're going to be a big story, picture story or just worth a couple of nibs. Either way, will have to start filling those pages soon! So best get down to it. I think I might from tomorrow.

I can't tonight as I'm going to be researching for my Stiletto article I'm writing for the second (Sex) issue on 'Do girls enjoy sex more than men?' which is about how girls have recently broke taboos about how they didn't talk about sex/didn't enjoy sex and now it seems that all girls talk about is guys and how many they've slept with.

Cosmo proudly showcases this image of a girl who likes sex as being adventurous, not sleazy or slutty. Sex and the City is another thing that springs to mind. I mean, people found that show refreshing and I know it really shocked some guys because some men believe it or not, think of women as naive and fragile creatures. Which clearly isn't the case a lot of the time (or is it?) hmmm. As Sex and the City (or so I have been told), had women openly discussing sex with each other, over lunch.

Anyhow,I can't believe how fast this week has gone already. I went home last weekend for my Dad's birthday and already- it's Thursday! Doesn't seem five seconds ago I was coming home this time last week. Oh how time flies. I mean in three weeks time I will be finishing for Christmas! Aaaarrggh. How scary is that?! Answer: Very. I have to write my dissertation proposal over Christmas, as well as revise for a 3 hour exam in Free Speech and Censorship, get all my newspaper pages produced in Quark and along with that, keep up with the news/current affairs so that I can at least (try) to pass the news writing exam in January. Oh the heavens! So much work.

Trying not to stress out...admittedly, it's kinda hard. But chill, chill. Everything's going to be alright :)

Today I had a seminar about postmodernism. That was pretty err...mindnumbing. Although I think I learnt a lot, I will have to go through the lecture notes a lot during revision to feel like I've actually got anywhere with it. I guess we'll see.

I'm listening to the new Darren Hayes album at present. I can't help but hear some Kate Bush influences in parts. It's cool! &a lot of the songs are definitely growing on me if I didn't like them so much before.

Anyhoo, I best be off. I've got a sutaki pie in the oven that needs my attention ;)

xo

IT'S DONE!!!

All I did today was work, work work on my editing for my radio package. Yes, my piece on 'The Respect Scheme' is done. I hope it'll be ok. I mean, I think it's about...98% done, if I have to be figurative. The thing is, I can get it put onto cd by tomorrow so hopefully with any luck, will be able to make a copy somehow and who knows, maybe put it up on here or the like. Maybe. Failing that, it will always be backed up on here at least. The deadline is for Friday, but since I'm going home on Thursday (probably highly likely), I thought it best to get the JNL314 Radio Package out of the way, as soon as possible. As for the JNL315 essay, I made sure to submit that in today, so thankfully that;s all over and done with! Woohoo.

I know that on Wednesday, Stiletto is coming out :) which is a bit exciting. I'm hoping to take a pic of it or scan it in to show what it's like. Apparently it looks absolutely amazing according to Holly. I sure hope so, I can't wait to get my hand on it.

This weekend I'm going home as I have a birthday meal to attend to :) My Dad is turning 60, so he's having a meal out at an Indian restaurant in Widnes. I can't wait to see him again, I miss both my parents so much as I haven't seen them in about- half a month!:(

I will get to see Gary again too, yayyyy which will obviously make my life.

Today has been tiring, I've been up all day. But tomorrow is another day, in which I can experiment with my radio project and hopefully get it finished off for good.

Night night
xx

I am going to see.... MY BLOODY VALENTINE.



I've got tickets, to see them!!! It was a bit of a task and a half I must say (like the fact that thousands of people were probably trying to get tickets at the same time as I was). The fact that the first night sold out within five minutes of going on sale, is something to say the least... But I did it and I've got them, so me and Gary are going to be seeing them at the Manchester Apollo next June- which is a perfect leaving Uni present, in my opinion :)

I've had such an amazing weekend. Aside from getting MBV tickets, I spent it with Gary and we went to Corp on the Thursday night to see Jesu and we were gonna see Mono but due to tiredness/seeing them before we decided to get the vinyl version of 'Conqueror' signed by Broadrick and then we retied to the house. We seemed to indulge on a lot of cheesy chips over the weekend, which was nice. Lots of takeaway (pizza, chips, etc), Subway, Vegebangers :p (all yummy of course). We watched 'The Stand' (the TV mini-series) which by the way, is bloody ace and makes me wanna read the book now, lots and lots.

We went Corp on Friday night which was good fun. But the vodka drink/s were disgusting and the beer wasn't too much better to be honest (not entirely sure why but it just tasted really rank, in my opinion), but I started to have a good night after a while as the music played/I progressively let myself enjoy the night.

Yesterday and for much of Friday, was spent shopping around the city centre. I bought some cool stuff for people for Christmas. Lots of interesting things for my boyfriend and I'm going to be getting a lot of good stuff for my family/friends :) I got quite a few books and I know I got a lot in return (obviously not to be looked at until Christmas day).

Speaking of Christmas- it's only another 36 days?! Which isn't long now really. Oohh I'm so excited.

Shame I have to do a whole week's worth of editing for my radio package, starting from tomorrow. I need to get it done by Friday! eeep. At least my essay is done. The deadline for that is tomorrow, but yay that's done at least.

At least once that's all done, I will get to see my family again at the weekend. It's my Dad's birthday coming up too, so I need to really get back home for that. It's a very special age shall we say, coming up.

Anyhow, I need to write up/sort out some of my radio script so it makes it easier to record tomorrow...

I hate my degree. Soo much work at the moment, hardly a chance to update/enjoy life!!

I'm trying to think of anything new in my life...there isn't really anything I can think of straight off. Except that I had a busy day yesterday. I attended two inquests! Which wasn't exactly pleasant. Besides the fact I feel like I have no right to be there sometimes, it is upsetting/most horribilus. Hmm what else? I kept napping a lot yesterday afternoon when I got back, I'm not sure why, but I kept on falling asleep and then waking up again, only to fall back asleep...it was really strange. I must've been super tired.

The only thing that's keeping me going, is the thought that on Thursday I will see my love again. It hurts to be apart and it sucks with all this work :( but we're gonna have a lovely weekend I just know it. We're seeing Jesu and Mono on the Thursday night and then once more on Saturday, in Leeds! :D it should be awesome.

At least I've finished my essay so I don't have to worry about that. I finished very late Sunday night/early hours of Monday. It seems ok, but I want to double check and go over it so I know everything is alright and so forth. Tomorrow I get the whole day off, so I should be able to do it then I believe. Along with a lot of other things (really need to do some exercise v. v. soon). But I won't dwell on that. There are more important things to sort out after all (Foster's work from his workshops needs to be done, as do a lot of notes - from last week's feature piece I'm gonna write on Killer Coke, to numerous nibs I can create from what I've been given) hmmm.

I have a broadcast workshop in an hour. I have soo much stuff to do for that still. I've got most of my material and wrote most of my radio script, but it's the interview I still have to get this Friday from a police officer and the whole editing process I will have to do the week after before it's handed in and finished for the 23rd (next Friday). I reckon that'll take most of the week, in all fairness.
I also need to be thinking about sounds I can have in the background...I was thinking of maybe using The Bill theme tune, but I'm worried that's gonna look kinda cheesy...hmm, I will have to have a good think.

No stress then! :/

x

Got some great news. The Stiletto website is up and running!

Stiletto

Go check it out!

xx

I have a new poem.

'A Bitter Understanding'

Hard
Yet softly enticed by
the docile features
staring back from within

Framed
cartilage eyes
American
cauterised
I barely
feel your skin

Alone
inside
the inky waves
that fall
beneath the
shallow

I emerge
subsidised
left to
cauterise
within the
hollow

Blood
spouting
from
holes
I never
knew existed

hands tied
back reclined;
they’ll never find
you before dawn;

Wrapped in rags of yesterday
the body snakes into despair
Mouth sucking in air
like a new-born

Oceans of tar
reaching out to
suck you down
and destroy

Like satan himself
to lead you astray,
the devil’s minions
come out to play…

First light
gives a resonance
so blinding

But it’ll be too late
by murky water grey
when they realise
with some regret
they’ve missed their chance;

for a deeper understanding



11/11/07 – A.C.J

I'm feeling mellow now, after a hard day of work :( I managed to get all my vox pops recorded in the afternoon because I figured I needed to get them out of the way, so all I have to worry about now is a)interviewing the police officer next week and b) editing it all the following week.

I feel somewhat better knowing it's the weekend now and I can just chill out and not feel so bad about relaxing for a bit tonight, as I've worked so hard all week.

The main news of the week, has been that my union is closed until Monday because there was a massive power cut at the Yorkshire Electricity Distribution Limited sub-station on Victoria Street last night. So nothing can happen until they get everything sorted out and fixed for good. Which means I will be staying in the house all weekend then, just to do my essay and not get distracted by the promise of Christmas shopping in town or at Meadowhall. I know if I went to the latter especially, I would end up spending loads! I can't see myself going there for a while though, at least until early December as I have something planned every weekend now until the end of November pretty much.

Yesterday was so utterly horrible though! I got caught in a hurricane and completely soaked through, upon travelling from a lecture about my dissertation to another about headline writing. Then I had to do a presentation along with two of my coursemates. I did mine on Liberalism which I think went well, but, afterwards the lecturer said he thought what I had mentioned on Hobbes was a bit dodgy :/ which I thought is fair enough, but since the chapter was so hard to read about, it was hard to separate it out into easy to read pieces.

Then I witnessed the power cut in the IC/Arts Tower and throughout the rest of the Union. I was attending a People and Planet meeting on 'Killer Cola' which is about how Coca-Cola is exploiting the communities in India by creating bottling plants there and then taking their water and leaving it all polluted. It was really interesting, but really hit it home I guess. I thought I'd report on it for a feature story I have to write as part of JNL 301 (Foster's module)as one of my news production piece/s.

Today I managed to get my vox pops done. Whether they are of any worth or not I'm not sure, as some people just said 'Yeah I think it's safe' and that was all...:/ I had to keep looking at them in the hope they'd give me more material to work with. &some of them did, thank goodness. I managed to speak to a PCO, but the vast majority of people I tried to talk to flat out rejected me, which was a bit deflating in all honesty. For some reason it actually upset me, so I decided to call it a day. I put them all onto the computer afterwards and some didn't turn out, but the ones that did do sound good. I guess if I ever need anymore, I should just go back out and get some. But to be honest, I think it all went ok. We'll see I guess.

I've bought a butternut squash! never used one of those before, haha. I'm not entirely sure what I have to do with it either, I'm guessing just peel it and bake it? I bought some other stuff like miso soup, thai curry paste and chillis and sweet potatoes, as well as a mango. I've been really worried of late that my diet isn't good enough, as even though I'm getting loads of fruit and vegetables, it's just the fact that I've been getting really tired and my nails have been snapping where the skin begins, which is er- painful to say the least. My left pinky feels so sore! So maybe a few additional vitamins to the diet is what's needed...

Anyway it looks like I'm in for a boring weekend. All of my housemates are going home again this weekend and I really need to work on and finish my essay, as this is the only time I can really do it in before the deadline is due. I would say oh leave it until next week, but there's so much to be done on it and plus, Gary is coming up next Thursday, so I want to have the weekend free to be able to spend it all with him :]
hehe.

Right, I'm just going to have a laid back evening. Chilling/listening to music/may do a little work. Nothing too strenuous as I have a heady-ache :(

xx

I've had a nice weekend. I came home to Widnes as I didn't want to be stuck on my own in Shef all on my own :( (everyone had gone home for the weekend in the house) so thought it best for my mind and sanity that I follow suit. I did want to work on my essay, but I thought it best that I get away again as I find it difficult to focus sometimes when I feel down.

Now I have to get down to my work however, which seems to be harder said than done, all in all. I mean, I've arranged for my second radio interview next Friday (16th) which some might say is cutting it fine with the deadline being the week after, but it still will give me a whole week to edit my radio package and since I've started working on my radio cue and script today, I don't feel so bad :)

My loan is not in great condition however. Well, since £700 worth of rent came out on November 1st it has been pretty scary to think about especially with Christmas still around the corner...but I know that there's only around...six weeks before I break up I can manage ok. Although once I start buying Christmas presents, my funds will go down substantially, so might have to start transferring over which I don't want to do :( but, there you go. If it's hard times calling for desperate measures, I guess I will have no choice.

I'm just hoping that by the end of this degree, I'll be able to pay it all off/back to people I owe it to. From the sounds of it I may not fare so bad. Foster was saying of how one of the most successful graduates is now a merchant banker?! which when you think of the transferrable skills you can get from a journalism degree, is slightly...interesting :p but there you go then. Maybe things won't be so bad after all. Obviously I will have to work hard to get anywhere near a good grade (2.1,2.1,2.1) sure it's average but it's very very decent indeed. It's practically impossible to get a first anyway and looks a bit sad to potential employers who are probably thinking you had no social life to get such a good mark.

Anyway it's bonfire night and I'm doing nothing but work which is a bit sad, but I'll be ok. I have my music to listen to and I'm getting things done, so it's alright. Even though I was supposed to be going Corp tonight, it didn't happen. But I'm going there next Thursday (15th) to see Jesu and Mono and Gary is coming up too, so that's something for me to get excited about :)

xx