Sunday, February 24, 2008

I've been feeling pretty drab today. Not sure why. I guess it's the realisation and the monotony of having to buy newspapers everyday, that my dissertation is now under way and I've got to roll with it...there is no way out.

and I'll be honest.

I'm scared.

Really, utterly terrified that everything I've done so far and everything I'm going to do will be a pile of wank because I don't have the time to satisfy myself that what I'm doing is actually any good.

For starters, this term will be heavier (I suspect less stressful, just more boring than the last) because it's more academic.

I have a presentation to do in May
An essay due in after Easter
A tonne of reading for my dissertation
Have to write a 8,000 - 10,000 word dissertation itself
A 3 hour exam at the end of the term and...
I have to produce a 72 page magazine in a group of 5 people

and on top of that I have to produce a brief, write at least 3 individual features of varying lengths, sub-edit a piece of someone else's work and I'm sure we have to write something else, but I can't remember what. I know we have work to produce as a group though, as well as individually. So understandably, I am a little bit worn out by the prospect of all of that.

So it's pretty much going to be non-stop now until mid-June when I finish the course.

Don't even remind me about getting a job (people seem to keep going on about it to me) and the department is wittering on and sending e-mails to remind us of prospective jobs, you know, just to hammer it home a little.

One girl on my course already has a job and has started, doing one day a week at The Reading Chronicle for £12.50 an hour. That scares me somewhat. I haven't even started looking properly.

But maybe I should.

I'm signing up for stuff now just to ease my mind and hopefully get the ball rolling. Wish me luck.