Saturday, July 14, 2007 how I feel. I've had to take a valerium to try and calm me down. Think I might have to take another soon. It's because the time is looming...and I have to go back up to Sheffield tomorrow for my work experience next week.

But I can't stop worrying. Which isn't what I need at the minute. Still, I'll be OK. I'm taking a book or two and a few magazines to read over the weekend and in the evenings after what I suspect will be busy days in the office/out and about in the city.

It's kind of exciting in a way- I've never worked on a proper newspaper before, so I should be looking forward to it and whilst I am in a way, I'm already quaking with fear, haha. I'm sure it'll be a-ok though, after the first day of settling in and so forth.

I think I'll write a daily entry on here (if the internet is working at the house and I can get it to work on my laptop), about my work placement, day by day. Hopefully I will have plenty of interesting things to write about :) I guess I shall have to wait and see.

Hmmm...let's see what's happened since my last update. Well, the job interview went well- but I didn't get the job unfortunately as they wanted me to work a lot of evenings, which I had to be honest about and say I didn't really want to do because it would cause a lot of anxiety for me and fuck up my social situation- i.e- it would prevent me seeing my boyfriend and I'd have to walk back most likely on many an occasion. So I guess it wasn't meant to be.

I have however applied for two other jobs- one at the Hillcrest Hotel, they were looking for bar staff there (or so I got told; they're also looking for a chef) and I applied for a secretarial position with this company...but it's a very fast paced role,(but the best money I've seen for a temp job)- so if I got that, I'd be chuffed. They both have the advantages of being based in Widnes and either to be fair, would give me some valuable experience in a different area of work I have never worked in before. So there.

I watched a beautiful film this afternoon called 'Wings of Desire', an 80's german's the original storyline that was re-worked into the American film 'City of Angels' starring Nicholas Cage, in 1998. WOD is about an angel who falls in love with a trapeze artist and wishes to become mortal, so that he can be with her. It's lovely, but really sad and poignant. It makes you think a lot about the failings of humans...and it's really cool to think that there could be all these fallen angels around. As angels, they can hear every human thought and often offer support to humans in turmoil...kinda like a guardian angel figure to the needy. They can hear your every thought, but they can't be seen, they're not visible beings. They guard over the city of Berlin from a tall angel statue... it was a really beautiful and moving series of thought sequences.

I've had to buy lots of ready meals to take back with me for next week- since I actually have no idea where my next meal may be coming from once I get there...and I suspect I will be rather lazy cuisine wise, in wanting to make anything. So I've got some ready made spinach and ricotta cannelloni, a goats cheese type calazone (I had one tonight) and a veggie lasagne. Yum. I'm sure I can sort myself out for the rest, once I get back there.

My parents bought me a lot of food from Chester.. bags of dried fruit and some honey and nut cereal :) yay and cereal bars, for breakfast. Which will save me buying them.

Hopefully, the 'net will be working at the house and I can give an update before Monday about the weekend. If not, I guess I will be nipping down to the IC a hell of a lot...*sigh* either way, I'll let you know :)